Overheard at Mass Ave's World Cup Block Party

An estimated crowd of 6,500 swarmed to Mass Ave Tuesday in hopes of cheering on the United States to victory in its World Cup match against Belgium. While the red, white, and blue came up short in a 2-1 loss, it was the passion and oddball quips of Indy sports fans that won the day. While most kept a watchful gaze on one of the three viewing screens, I eavesdropped on the many conversations at hand. Here are the best quotes:
1. “Those people who are patriotic to be ironic, how annoying is that?” —A gentleman to his male friend who was wearing American-flag Daisy Dukes
2. “That’s the best goddamned sandwich I’ve ever had!” —Woman who had just chowed down on grub from one of the many food-truck vendors
3. “It’s not my fault. You’re short, man. Ya know?” —Proof that not everyone had the easiest time viewing the game.
4. “He said to meet him at the firetruck, which I assume is at the firehouse, but I could be wrong.” —Nah, I think you’re safe with this one, ma’am.
5. “That was 5-on-3. That’s not good.” —Well, I guess it depends on what you’re into.
6. “He lived with his mom. He thought it was his sister. He called her his sister, and she moved out. Now he lives with his grandma.” —I don’t even want to come up with a scenario for this conversation.
7. “I have beer. Please let me through.” —Ah, yes, the very reason our Founding Fathers laid down their lives for this country.
» MORE: Time-Lapse Video: Mass Ave’s World Cup Block Party
8. “Look at this girl! Double fistin’ with the Fireball [whiskey] and the beer.” —An easily amused drunk guy
9. “We’re the underdog. We’re not expected to win.” —Mr. Redundant
10. “I don’t like foreigners.” —An inebriated gentleman after Belgium scored its first goal in extra time.
11. “We lose, you shave your head.” —That’s quite the demand, sir. Are you always so brutish with your friends?
12. “You know, in Belgium, they drink warm beer.” —Genuine cultural appreciation found among the sunburns and alcohol.
13. “We’re so average.” —Not sure if this should be the motto for the U.S. Men’s National Team or our country’s healthcare system.
14. “What’s your carbon footprint?” —Really, friend, do you even recycle?
15. “Back-to-back World War champions! Get at me!” —Man high-fiving forlorn fans after the loss. That’s the American Spirit—so resilient not even a crummy soccer game can crush it. USA! USA! USA!