Phil Gulley

As a hypochondriac, I make the most of my maladies, describing them to all who listen.

Our political incumbents are about as legitimate as my claim to be a Republican.

It’s canoeing season in Indiana, but not for Philip Gulley.

Despite Phil Gulley’s contempt for royalty, he thinks the governor should be overthrown by a queen, preferably a Black one.

Global warming is real, but maybe Florida’s loss will be our gain.

Pastoral life has a reputation for being relaxing, but the cold truth is: It’s a lot of work.

Even in a small town like Danville, there’s room for civility between the two Americas.

Phil Gulley’s laziness and distractibility? There should be an app for that.

The timing to build his screenhouse could have been better, but for Phil Gulley there are few problems a good screenhouse can’t solve.

It doesn’t help one’s self-esteem to be branded nonessential by the governor.

When it comes to weddings, thriftiness and true love are a match made in heaven.

The most dependable car I’ve ever owned is also the ugliest.

I’m encouraged by the large number of presidential candidates this year, but that doesn’t make it any easier to choose one.

We’re too lazy for that.

Living under the unblinking eye of a homeowner’s association, I’m starting to think we should have insisted on decency being one of the covenants.