The Replay: ‘Hoosiers,’ Ed Carpenter, and Mark Cuban

Every Friday, we post up The Replay, our weekly look at sports. It’s mostly fouls and airballs.

» Chitwood Happens: The Pacers announced that the team will wear uniforms inspired by the 1986 movie Hoosiers for a handful of games during the upcoming 2015-2016 season.

The big reveal (here’s the backstory) won near-universal acclaim, though Deadspin called the team’s special “Heritage” uniforms “the most effective marketing ploy directed solely at white people since the invention of gourmet mayonnaise.” So, yeah. Um, Go Pacers?

Suggestion for a game promotion: Let the Town Drunk Coach the Team Night™.

» Nick Move? A new biography about Alabama coach Nick Saban reveals that the man who has coached college teams to four national championships was courted by former GM Bill Polian to jump from Michigan State (Saban’s employer in 1998) to the Colts. Talks apparently broke down because Saban wanted control over personnel and the coaching staff. Sure, the Colts might have won a few more games with Saban at the helm, but there’s no doubt Indy would have been deprived of the playoffs:

» Youth Is Served: IndyCar’s Ed Carpenter couldn’t out-place Sage Karam at the Iowa Speedway last Saturday, but the veteran driver did manage to unleash a get-off-of-my-lawn fist-shake at the 20-year-old during the race, and later, dished up a sick dad-burn. As Carpenter boarded the flight home with his wife and children, the third-place-finishing Karam offered him an empty seat and a chance to talk over their post-race altercation. “Nah,” said Carpenter. “I have three kids I have to take care of in the back. I don’t need to be taking care of a fourth.”

» Hitting the Bricks: Retiring sort-of-Hoosier Jeff Gordon will run in his final Brickyard 400 this weekend, where he’s seeking his sixth win at the IMS. Gordon graced IM‘s cover in 1994 and went on to win the inaugural race. As one of our contributors Heather Lloyd pointed out, Gordon’s parting is such sweet sorrow.

And @JeffGordonWeb, right down the middle…just like his hair. 👌🏻🏁#Brickyard400 #TBT #JeffGordonDay https://t.co/x2I0JVYhrE

— The Blue Mare (@TheBlueMare) July 23, 2015

» Fail to the Chief: Mavs owner and IU grad Mark Cuban plays the role of POTUS in the just-released Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Here’s a pitch for the Shark Tank deal-maker: Stop acting.

» Now Read This: A damning story in the New Times Broward–Palm Beach alleges former Colts linebacker Clint Session is a deadbeat dad of a special-needs child.