We All Scream
Q: I caught a glimpse of the guy who drives my neighborhood’s ice-cream truck. He’s so sketchy looking, it made me wonder what else they sell out of that van. Are these people vetted?
William E., Indianapolis
A. Sorry, bug-o-phobes, the threat posed by these tiny home invaders is not, like a lice infestation, all in our heads. The problem is so widespread that the Marion County Public Health Department actually has a full-time “bedbug guy,” Larry Lobdell, traveling the county offering tips on keeping the pests out of homes, apartment buildings, and hotels.
A: TV’s Gomer Pyle owes his pre-race role to an incident in 1972, when legendary Speedway boss Anton “Tony” Hulman asked him to participate in the opening ceremonies. But Tony didn’t approach him months in advance like regular folks would. Instead he walked up to Nabors (who was attending the ’72 race as a spectator) and asked him if he’d like to “sing the song.” Nabors, figuring it was “The Star-Spangled Banner,” said yes. It wasn’t until moments before his performance that he learned it was “Back Home Again in Indiana.” Ever the trouper, he wrote the lyrics on his hand and delivered a bang-up performance, earning a gig he’s honored for the better part of four decades. [Editor’s Note: Nabors won’t make it to the 2012 Indy 500 due to medical reasons.]
A: Mayor Ballard’s administration has racked up sister cities faster than a teenage girl friending classmates on Facebook. Before he came to office, Indy buddied up to Taipei, Taiwan, in 1978; to Cologne, Germany, in 1988; to Monza, Italy, in 1994; and to Piran, Slovenia, in 2001. Then came Ballard. According to Jane Gehlhausen, his director of international and cultural affairs, he targeted cities in economically vibrant nations with populations around 1 million and industries similar to those of Central Indiana.
A: Some may be outraged at the cost of a Frappuccino or Caramel Macchiato, but not so long ago, Indy residents couldn’t purchase them for any price. While Starbucks has been in business since 1971, it didn’t begin its caffeinated assault on the Indy market until 1999, when a location opened inside Butler University’s Atherton Union. A second (now defunct) spot debuted in Carmel’s Merchants’ Square a few weeks later. After that they multiplied like bedbugs, until you couldn’t drive more than a couple of blocks in any direction without spotting the McDonald’s of coffee shops. Well, perhaps they aren’t that numerous. According to Starbucks regional director of operations Nancy McLaughlin, there are currently “only” 30 locations inside the I-465 loop, and slightly more than 100 in the entire state. A decent number, but miniscule when you consider that the chain operates more than 17,000 stores worldwide.
A: Shoveling one’s walk is barely even a “courtesy thing” these days, judging from the number of people in The Hoosierist’s own neighborhood who never lay a gloved finger on the drifts in their front yards. But if you think the law doesn’t care, you’re wrong. “Businesses and homeowners are responsible for clearing sidewalks of snow and ice to allow for safe pedestrian travel,” says Kate Johnson at Indy’s lively Department of Code Enforcement.
A: There are downtown city streets with free parking? If that’s what you’re implying, then The Hoosierist begs you to enlighten him. According to Marc Lotter, communications director for Mayor Greg Ballard, pretty much every bit of curbside asphalt in the Mile Square requires coinage for parking. And it’s not just to wring every last cent of revenue from motorists. Well, it’s not all about that. It’s also to keep commuters from monopolizing spaces from dawn to dusk, to the detriment of nearby businesses needing easy access for customers. “It encourages turnover and discourages long-term parking during the business day,” Lotter says.
A: Return with us now to that bygone year of 1950, when Harry Truman was president, a loaf of bread cost a nickel (or whatever), and every member of the male gender sported a Johnny Unitas–style crewcut. It was then that soon-to-be cafeteria magnates Charles O. McGaughey and George Laughner (of the famous Laughner clan that ran the late, great Laughner’s Cafeteria chain) got together to found the very first MCL. The Hoosierist supposes you can figure out the rest.
