The Hoosierist

“Everybody’s on board. I think they see the humor in it.”

Red Line efficiency, al fresco dining, and historic preservation in Fountain Square.

Can’t get your sailboat to move without the auxiliary engine? File that under “champagne problems.”

The Mini folks charitably call it the “back-of-the-pack bus,” but The Hoosierist prefers its unofficial title: the meat wagon.

Also, what was the biggest year for high school basketball in Indiana?

“It seems like the last thing you should do to an expensive indoor stadium is fill it with dirt.”

“Back in the early 1800s, when Indiana’s political map was drawn, that many counties seemed about right.”

“Fortunately, the person wearing the Rowdie suit has his own locker room next to the clubhouse, to which he can retire, cool down, and perhaps reflect upon his career choice.”

“Though firing up an outdoor grill is the signature move of barbecue establishments, any type of restaurant is free to break out the Weber.”

“Yes, the Great Lakes give us far more than just shipping lanes and the inspiration for Gordon Lightfoot songs. Come winter, they also like to dump their excess moisture on nearby communities.”

“For a state that looks like an elaborate Children of the Corn backdrop, the pickings are slim.”

“While the eight-story drop is more than enough to give The Hoosierist the willies, it’s not an issue for the orangutans, who swing hand-over-hand along the Hutan Trail (the name for those high cables) with aplomb.”

“While not as sun-kissed as, say, Arizona, Indiana nevertheless catches enough rays to make it doable.”

“A house with this sort of stuff in its background is called a ‘psychologically affected property,’ because unlike a cracked foundation or bad electrical repairs, its impact on a buyer’s decision is purely psychological—unless there’s a big bloodstain on the living room floor that needs to be sanded out.”

“The Hoosierist figured he would need to chat with two or three government wonks to find a definitive answer for this one. Instead, he discovered the City of Indianapolis’s municipal code absolutely obsesses over tree maintenance.”