Philip Gulley

We could save ourselves a lot of trouble if we sent children outside barefoot, in a field of clover, while eating a PB&J, like parents did when I was a runt.

“While I’m clearing the air, I’ll add that their gay marriage harmed my traditional marriage exactly zero percent.”

I’ve buried quite a few stinkers these past 31 years, but you would never have known it from their funerals.

So far, the only downside to diabetes is not being able to eat Cinnabons at the airport.

My biggest worry about retirement isn’t how I’ll pay for it, but whether I should even do it. We’ve all heard stories about guys who retired and five minutes later dropped dead.

First-place categories for IM stories included Medical, Business, and Sports reporting, as well as Column and Features writing.

Some people shouldn’t take up religion, and you know the kind of people I mean—folks who are a few biscuits short of a breakfast.

As I write this, my wife and I are expecting our first grandchild, Madeline. The level of excitement, as you can imagine, is high.

Sometimes you have to live in a house for a while before she trusts you enough to reveal her secrets.

Perfectly decent human beings, like me for instance, are made to feel like losers for driving a 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Responses to Philip Gulley’s opinion column

The listing noted that the house was in a “Great Neighborhood!” I’m in that neighborhood, so it’s not all that great.

I asked Jim if he ever felt like he had betrayed those who believed in his words. I was being as authentic as I could, he said.

Being too concerned about protecting the natural world is like being too concerned about babies. How is it possible to be too concerned?

“You watch,” I told my wife back then. “The day will come when we’ll curse the person who invented cell phones.” That day is here.