Sam Stall

“It was like being on the moon.”

Just don’t call them Elvis impersonators. It’s “tribute artists,” thank you, thank you very much.

“Yes, the Great Lakes give us far more than just shipping lanes and the inspiration for Gordon Lightfoot songs. Come winter, they also like to dump their excess moisture on nearby communities.”

“Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you feel about malevolent cryptids), it doesn’t live in Indiana.”

“I hope I don’t wind up wandering the streets. Or writing long-winded emails to my friends.”

“It’s such an amazing time to be alive if you enjoy beef, beer, and whiskey. Indianapolis is just lousy with incredible examples of those indulgences.”

“Whether it’s legal or not, people do it.”

“For a state that looks like an elaborate Children of the Corn backdrop, the pickings are slim.”

“When I met John Green on the set of the movie, I really felt like he was a kindred spirit.”

“While the eight-story drop is more than enough to give The Hoosierist the willies, it’s not an issue for the orangutans, who swing hand-over-hand along the Hutan Trail (the name for those high cables) with aplomb.”

“It helps that I’m a creature of the theater. If you do eight shows a week and you get bored doing the same material, then you’re in a lot of trouble.”

“In a world that had its priorities straight, all schools would be filled with top-notch programs, so students wouldn’t have to besiege the handful of places that do. But The Hoosierist chooses not to dwell on that. It’s too depressing.”

“In an Indy car, if you get loose and you save it, it’s a miracle. They usually crash. In a stock car, they slide all the time, but you can catch it.”

“The rest of the year is about as exciting as a pack of soggy sparklers. But that doesn’t mean the stores have nothing to do.”

“I just wanted to create music that made me happy. Maybe it will make someone else happy, too.”